Vampires Suck Audiobook: Dark Comedy Vampire Novel (Unabridged)
Full-Length Narration

Experience the vampire curse in Lester’s own voice—raw, unfiltered, and unforgettable.

This full-length audiobook brings to life the story of literature’s most reluctant immortal. Narrated with the gritty, bar-stool authenticity that defines the novel, listen as Lester recounts two thousand years of being cursed by his grandfather Judas’s betrayal. From ancient Jerusalem to modern Tijuana, this darkly funny vampire story explores what happens when immortality isn’t a gift—it’s God’s cosmic middle finger.

Perfect for:

• Long commutes and road trips (6+ hours of content)
• Fans of dark comedy and horror audiobooks
• Listeners who loved Good Omens, John Dies at the End, The Stupidest Angel
• Anyone tired of romantic vampire stories
• Insomniacs who appreciate existential humor

Audiobook Details:

• Length: [X hours, X minutes] unabridged
• Format: MP3, M4B (compatible with Audible, iTunes, Google Play)
• Narrated by: [Narrator name]
• Professional studio recording quality
• Instant download or streaming available

Genre: Dark Comedy Audiobook | Vampire Fiction | Literary Horror | Satirical Fiction
Keywords: vampire audiobook, dark humor audiobooks, immortality stories, biblical fiction audio, noir audiobook, anti-hero narrator

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